| (no subject) |
[Dec. 5th, 2004|11:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
everything in my life is falling apart 1 by 1. first, i lose a friend of mine, Sonja. i went to both of the wakes, and the funeral where i was a pole-bearer. it was so sad. then a few hours after the funeral, me and patty get into a huge fight and some awful things were said which i regret (and apologize for saying if you're reading this). at this point i was out of my mind. my muscles were spazing and i was uncontrollably instable. it felt like i needed to be locked up in an insane asylum or something. i went home to release some of the steam of anger and sadness that the day brought me. i go home and my mother thinks im nuts and offers me valium (thats how bad i was). i finally stop crying out the sorrow in my life and clenching my raging fists and begin to think like a normal human being again until my mother starts crying and telling me how my aunt Kathy has aggressive breast cancer. I turned down the valium that my mother was going to give me and told her that i wasnt going to be sober at all that night. It diddnt seem like a bad idea at the time (to take this pill and go out and get trashed) cuz i knew it meant death. but thats not what i want right now. i just need alot of alcohol, marijuana, and cigarettes to get me through the most tragic, upsetting, and uncomfortable point in my life right now. my mind is so stressed out that i cant function properly. everything seems like im looking at it through a stained glass window, all distorted, even when im sober. i know that i have to just relax, smoke weed, get drunk, have fun with my friends, do some stupid shit and laugh about it while my life falls back into place without my help so i wont add any more un-needed and intolerable stress to my depressing life.
whoa...i just re-read what i wrote and i really do think im crazy
Patty, i dont want to finish off this entry before really get to apologize to you. i know that i said alot of mean things to you and some fucked up shit to you not just yesterday, but alot lately. i just want you to know that im truely sorry for the things i said from the bottom of my heart and i will always love you no matter what. if we don't get back together, im just asking that we can be friends forever because i want to be there to help you and support you all throughout your life. i really just want to be there for you because i love you and i continue to love you "forever and always".
jetta_joe
R.I.P. Sonja Bruns |
|
|
| 8 MONTHS WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE |
[Sep. 26th, 2004|04:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
Today is me and my wifey's 8 month anniversary. these have been the best 8 months of my life, even when we were fighting or werent together. just knowing you made my life a better thing. you have changed me so much into a person who i like to be. i feel like i can be with you forever and i want to spend the rest of my life with you. you are all i need and all i ever wanted. i wish us a happy 9 months, 10 months, 11 months, and a happy 1 year anniversary in advance because i know that i will be with you 4 ever.
i love u baby!!!! c u soon! |
|
|
| WTF!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! |
[Sep. 24th, 2004|12:01 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  and worried | ] |
| [ | music |
| | this fuckin annoying keyboard clickin | ] |
Im missing like a whole month of journal entries!!!!!!! mutha fukkerz!!!!
anyways...im kinda heated right now but i cant really talk about it. all of the worst things are running through my mind right now. WHY WONT YOU TALK TO ME. i hate it when people hide shit from me. if you have something to tell me just tell me and i wont be mad. but hiding shit from me makes me mad and now i have all kinds of crazy shit goin on in my mind right now, but u kno what? I DONT FEEL LIKE TALKING ABOUT IT!!!! shit......i need a fuckin blunt! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 19th, 2004|08:49 pm] |
Im sooo happy. im going on vacation in 2 days!!! its good just to go with my family, but its great that i get to go with my wifey, the love of my life, patty!!! i cant wait. Were going to get soooo wasted the whole time. im gonna get b-day money when im there cuz my bday was a couple of days ago. I love patty soooo much and i cant wait to spend this whole week (night and day) with her.
I love you baby. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 15th, 2004|03:58 am] |
Damn its been a long time since i've been on lj. Anywayz, here's the deal lately...Me and Patty are back together :-)
Im so happy. She's coming with me on vacation with my family which might hopefully be part of hers someday. Im working full time (40 hrs a week) as a mechanic at white plains chrysler.my life's going good right now. I just found out tonight that my parents are looking at a house in mahopac though...i cant move to that pussy ass town... im going to stay right here in YO and stay with patty until she can come and move in with me.
well, i dont really know what else to say. ill try 2 update again soon.
-Jetta Joe
I LOVE YOU PATTY |
|
|
| weird day |
[May. 18th, 2004|07:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  surprised | ] |
today sucked (as usual). I've been hearing shit about this punk ass kid JoJo all day. how he wants to get me bagged. so i walk out of school today and there he is. I say wats up and chill there for a few minutes. He's cool about it, so i figured its all bullshit. So my friend John pulls up in his car and i go to talk to him to see wats good. About five minutes later, JoJo and 5 of his boys (including The kid who decked John) come up to me in the parking lot. JoJo (all the sudden with his boys around)wants to fight "one on one" HELLO! I live in the hood. I think i know the difference between a bagging and a 1 on 1. A bagging is 2 or more against 1. his boys were there and i was all alone. so im not up to getting bagged, but believe me, if they try something, im prepared. I've got something for them. So anywayz, i just said "Yo, i aint got the time to kill you right now, im out." So i bounced. But its ok now cuz now im ready 4 it. So anywayz, can you believe this?---Me and Patty are done. No more...Ca-Put. Im not as sad as i was cuz i just needed to know if i was trying to hang on to nothing. all i needed to know was if it was worth it to keep trying or to let it go and forget it all. so we agreed on forgetting it all. :-( But on the bright side, i got asked to the prom today in math by my friend Jessica. She just came up to me and was like hey. and i said wats up. She asked if i wanted to go to the prom and i was like really? she said yea. so thats cool. also, it should be fun cuz all of my friends who are seniors wont be here with me next year cuz i got left back and they diddnt. Well, thats the story of my day. Maybe god has a reason for why things happen. If i was still hung up on Patty, i wouldnt be going to a prom. But since there's nothing between us anymore, i can go. Im gonna get soooooooo F**kd up!!!! its gonna be soooo much fun. I cant wait! so anywayz. Keep them comments coming! Thanx, Jetta Joe |
|
|
| I dont know |
[May. 17th, 2004|08:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
Well so life sux! So hows everyone out there tuning into jettajoe's life? Well, its all over now, so you'll start reading normal entries from now on. Well, ive only been typing in shyt that's been happening with me and patty, but dont worry about that anymore im sure ur sick of hearing it. OK, here's whats really been going on: My best friend "Whoop D-John" Got sukka punched in his jaw the other day. Who punched him? The same kid who fought Jeremiah about 6 Times. So, it turns out that he's Bloods. When John got cracked, i had this impulse and i went to my car to grab my bat and start hittin home runs with they're heads but as i opened the door, one of this kids friends (Who i know packs a gun) said "If you grab anything outta that car ill put holes in your head. So i backed off, my life sux right now but i dont wanna get shot in the head ya know? Anyways, Jeremiah just wants to get a gun and pop him a couple of times. I really cant blame him but you wouldnt se me shooting and killing someone over getting jumped. So today, i went to school to and fixed a flat on my car in auto. (Yes, another flat...another problem with my car) so i do that and after school, i meet up with GTI Joe, Brianna, and Vicki. We were just chillin and shyt and we were hanging out at the inside mall at cc. We were throwing wood chips at eachother and we made a big mess all over the floor. So Vicki went to clean it up so we wouldnt get yelled at and she saw a pube on the floor. Then i dropped off Joe and came here (home) to see if anyone commented on my journals or added me to a friend list but nobody did. Nobody cares, so im done caring about certain things. Anywayz, If any of my friends are reading this, please comment, and only if im your friend, it makes me feel good about myself when people comment on my life. It kinda makes me feel befriended, and im going through a rough time in my life now so i can use some good advice or anything at all from my friends. -Jetta Joe |
|
|
| SAD CANT SLEEP |
[May. 17th, 2004|03:27 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
Why is it that everytime i give my heart 2 someone its always given back to me crushed and destroyed? Im so sad cuz i feel like i lost the only thing that was ever imprortant to me. Im so hurt not being with her. I had everything set up in my head, it was all perfect, but now that im all alone again and broken all of my plans have fallen apart. im nothing without her. i need to to live, breath and sleep happy. Alot of my friends are bad and they cheat on their girlfriends and they're with a different girl every day. they get laid all the time. they're happy, but i know that what they're doing is wrong. so i try to be good and do things right, but when you do that, u just get shitted on or hurt. i have fallen in love, and when i fall i fall in deep. now im stuck between waiting on her to return so (maybe) i can be happy again and everything can be fixed or starting over again with someone else and trying something new. i dont want someone else. all i want is her, but i feel like she dont love me anymore. im afraid to call 2 talk to her cuz i dont wanna get hurt. i feel like maybe its over for good. i cant f*king believe that i've probably cried over her more than i have ever cried in my life. i just want her back soooooooo bad. i love her and i miss her soooo much. I really have to find out whats goin on. i need to know honestly if she still loves me, cuz its just hurts so much not knowing. Patty, I LOVE YOU. Please call me, i really need to talk 2 u. |
|
|
| Survey taken from Patty |
[May. 9th, 2004|06:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lonely | ] |
Patty’s Survey
Answer the questions....
x. Who are you? Joe
x. Are we friends? Yea
x. When and how did we meet? 1-26-04
x. How have I affected you? You made me realize what love really is
x. What do you think of me? I think ur the oly 1 4 me
x. What's the fondest memory you have of me? That Friday
x. How long do you think we will be friends? Forever
x. Do you love me? I will always love you
x. Do you have a crush on me? Yes I do
x. Would you kiss me? You know i would
x. Would you hug me? I want to sooooo bad
x. Physically, what stands out? Your beautiful brown eyes
x. Emotionally, what stands out? The way you loved me
x. Do you wish I was cooler? You r perfect the way u r
x. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I? 1,000,000
x. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. Baby-cuz ur my baby
x. Am I loveable? You are very lovable
x. How long have you known me? Since 1-26-04
x. Describe me in one word. Perfect
x. What was your first impression of me? Gorgeous
x. Do you still think that way about me now? Yes, you'll even be gorgeous to me when ur 90
x. What do you think my weakness is? Trusting someone. I kno u had a rough past. Its not ur fault
x. Do you think I'll get married? Someday I hope
x. What makes me happy? Mozzarella cheese lol
x. What makes me sad? Our arguements
x. What reminds you of me? When I put Ketchup on my bacon, egg, and cheese or when i see a couple that is obviously deeply in love
x. If you could give me anything what would it be? My heart, but u already have it
x. How well do you know me? Enough to prove to everyone that I love you
x. When's the last time you saw me? April 2nd
x. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? No. I've always bee straight up and honest with you
x. Do you think I could kill someone? No
x. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you? Yes
x. What will I be when I grow up? A perfect wife to a very lucky guy
Fill in the Blanks....
- I __Love__ Patty.
- Patty is _The best_.
- If I were alone in a room with Patty, I would _Finish off our "Friday" night_______.
- Patty makes me want to _Hold her and never let her go__.
- Patty's new nick name is _ (It will always be baby)_.
- I want to _Marry_ Patty. Someday
- Someday Patty will be _With me again hopefully_.
- Patty reminds me of __How perfect life is with her______.
- Without Patty _My life is pointless_.
- My memories of Patty are _something I will never forget__.
- Patty can be _a little dramatic but I still love her__.
- The worst thing about Patty is _Her hair when she wakes up lol_.
- The best thing about Patty is _Her loving touch_.
- I am __not___ with Patty. L
- My first impression of Patty was _oh no! _I got a boner lol j/k_____.
Describe Patty in 5 Words:
Loveable
Perfect
Beautiful
Funny
Huggable
***** I love you Patty. I’ll do anything to get u back |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 4th, 2004|12:12 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
Well, now im single:( i hate it but its probably better for us until she gets back. I've had girls hurt me all my life, i've never (not once)been the one to break up with someone, im always the one being dumped. I cant count how many times i've heard the words "We should be friends" and hated the person who said it to me. Those words were just said to me again today, but instead of being pissed off at her, i love her with all my heart and that will never change. I just hate the idea that she could be with sum1 else right now, and even though we're "just friends" and im single, im not making myself available. i will stay single until she comes back to NY and we'll see how things work out. I just hope she does the same and if she doesn't i dont want to know about it cuz it will break my heart for the rest of my life. I just feel like im on a downhill path to hell and im almost there cuz the pain in my heart is almost killing me. I never even thought for one second about cheating on her cuz i love her so much and even though we are not together right now, i'll still be the infamous Jetta Joe. I thought i was doing great before patty, just me and my car. But when i met patty, my car diddnt matter to me as much anymore. I was still Jetta Joe, but i was Patty's boyfriend and that was more important to me. Now its just me and my car again and i hate it. i just want patty back. i want patty "forever and always" just like we always used to say to eachother. I think about all the fun times we had when u were here like the tie i jumped out of a window into the snow with no shoes on (which is funny) but now when i think about it, i feel like im gonna cry cuz i dont have her anymore. I remember going out and renting movies with her and spending the whole day at my house with my parents watching movies and i felt like she was part of the family. like she was here to stay with me and i loved it. i diddnt want it to end. Then "that friday night" was the most loving, sensual moment i ever had in my life. even though we diddnt have sex that night, we still made love somehow and it was great. We slept together that night and i had my arm arond her when i fell asleep and it was still around her when i woke up. I loved it. I was wishing that it would never end. All i ever really wanted in my life (More than a hot car, money, nice clothes) was the love of my life and i had that. but now i feel like i have nothing and i feel like im a loser again. just like how i used to be before i fell deeply in love. Im so hurt, i just dont even kno what to say anymore... im out -Jetta Joe
1/26/04 - 5/3/04
The best 3 months of my life
|
|
|
| wow |
[May. 2nd, 2004|10:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
Usher "Burn"
[Intro]
I don't understand why
See it's burning me to hold onto this
I know this is something I gotta do
But that don't mean I want to
What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you I just
I feel like this is coming to an end
And its better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you
I gotta let it burn
[Verse 1]
It's gonna burn for me to say this
But it's comin from my heart
It's been a long time coming
But we done been fell apart
Really wanna work this out
But I don't think you're gonna change
I do but you don't
Think it's best we go our separate ways
Tell me why I should stay in this relationship
When I'm hurting baby, I ain't happy baby
Plus theres so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn
[Chorus]
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
Been knew it was through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
[Verse 2]
Sendin' pages I ain't supposed to
Got somebody here but I want you
Cause the feelin ain't the same find myself
Callin' her your name
Ladies tell me do you understand?
Now all my fellas do you feel my pain?
It's the way I feel
I know I made a mistake
Now it's too late
I know she ain't comin back
What I gotta do now
To get my shorty back
Ooo ooo ooo ooooh
Man I don't know what I'm gonna do
Without my booo
You've been gone for too long
It's been fifty-leven days, um-teen hours
Imma be burnin' till you return (let it burn)
[Chorus]
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn (let it burn, let it burn, you gon'learn)
Let it burn (gotta let it burn)
Gotta let it burn
Deep down you know its best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
Been knew it was through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
[Bridge]
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (ooooh)
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (yeah)
[Breakdown]
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh oooh
Ooh ooh oooh (can ya feel me burnin'?)
Ooh ooh ooh oooh ooh oooh
So many days, so many hours
I'm still burnin' till you return
[Chorus]
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
Been knew it was through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn |
|
|
| Shit happening 2 me now |
[May. 2nd, 2004|12:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
In the past 6 days everything went wrong 4 me
1. My transmission blew up
2. ummm... cant say this one....
3. Got a speeding ticket (AGAIN!!!) 50 in a 30 $$$
4. Got int a car accident
5. My sim card in my phone got stolen (not the whole phone just the most important piece
6. i lost my wallet with licence, fake id, working papers, bank card, registration, gift cards & more
WHAT ELSE CAN GO WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
| WTF?!?!?!?! |
[Apr. 25th, 2004|03:49 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
ummm. nothing is going my way right now.... the last two days were fucked up, today started out good, but then my transmission broke into a million pieces all over the floor(just like my heart) and my car dont move no more. i was planning on racing it on the 1/4 mile track in englishtown tomorrow, but i guess thats not happening now. my mom sez to junk the car but im not doin that. nobody understands what im goin through now. i just wish i could take a long long long sleep and wake up when everything is better again. |
|
|
| I miss my baby |
[Apr. 10th, 2004|04:25 am] |
Baby i miss you. i diddnt get to talk to you all day. I woke up late, tried to call but u were out with jessy, then i had 2 work. the room's almost done for us. u gonna like it. i just cant wait till u come back and stay with me. it will be great. everynight will be like that friday night at my house, only without my father "CB-ing"...lol i love u babe. forever and always and dont forget it...damn right..lol joe loves patty loves joe
joe loves patty loves joe forever and always
joe loves patty loves joe forever and always
joe loves patty loves joe forever and always
joe loves patty loves joe forever and always
joe loves patty loves joe forever and always
joe loves patty loves joe forever and always
joe loves patty loves joe forever and always
joe loves patty loves joe forever and always
joe loves patty loves joe forever and always |
|
|
| Joe loves Patty loves Joe forever and always |
[Apr. 3rd, 2004|02:47 pm] |
|
This whole week has been awesome!!! I was with my baby every day. Sry i wasnt able to update, i was busy....;-) yep, so 2 months going strong. It may not seem like much bet we're deeply in love. I was sooo happy to see her at the airport when i picked her up (2 hrs late...sry baby) then we ate dinner at her house with her mother and stepfather. We were very busy all week (lol) and she was at my house more than she was at her own. My mom loves patty and her parents like me. Her mom first said that she could move in with me when she turns 18, but she just said today that she could move in with me when she comes back in september :-) !!! I'm fixing up the empty apartment upstairs for us so when she comes back this will be "our home"... (that sounds great..."Joe and Patty's place"). I was so upset today when she left. i have to wait 2 months until i get to see her again. this is really going to suck. i cant live without her, i need her in my life so i can be happy. anyways. My best buddy Jesse is in NY now. First i dropped Patty off in Manhattan, then i drove to JFK to pick up Jesse at the airport, then i drove back to Manhattan to introduce my best friend to My baby cuz her bus diddnt leave yet. I had to introduce My best friend to the love of my life. I swear im gonna marry her someday. Anywayzzz....umm....im going to stop typing now cuz my fingers hurt, ill update as soon as something interesting happens!!!
I love you Patty
Joe
loves "Forever
Patty and Always"
loves
Joe Patty & Joe
1-26-04 |
|
|
| 2 MONTHS!!!! |
[Mar. 26th, 2004|11:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
Hey!!! Its me and Patty's 2 month anniversary!! I love her sooooo much and i cant wait until she comes back. We missed our 1 month anniversary (she went to FL 1 day before it) and now were going to miss our 2 month anniversary, but when she comes back, were going to celebrate both of them. I love you baby. I miss you
Jetta Joe
Thats baby to you patty...lol |
|
|
| I love my baby |
[Mar. 21st, 2004|03:13 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | loved | ] |
So, heres wuts goin on. Me and Patty are back together again. I love her so much. I hate not being with her. I cant wait cuz in 6 days i get to see her again. I used to picture myself growing up like my uncle who's about 46 or 47 years old still living with his mother, not married, and not even a girlfriend. Now that im with Patty, i cant picture myself getting old alone. I want to be with her forever because now that i have my special person in my life, My one and only, i cant go back to being miserable and lonely again.
Patty, i love you with all of my heart and i just want to hold you and never let you go. I want to spend as much time with you as i can because i realized that with you, we have something that alot of people will ever have in their whole life. What we have is true love. My friends think im crazy, but they have no idea what im talking about because they dont know of any love like this. Im a lucky person to have a girl like you. You're perfect for me and it takes alot to find someone perfect for them and im blessed to share my love with you.
Anyways, I got my job back too. Two of the waitresses there who liked me, other than that snobby bird lookin bitch who got me fired, talked to the boss and got me back in again. Thank god, i really need the $$$ cuz i gotta pay my speedin ticket. Its gonna cost me more than $200!!! Yea...i was flyin when he caught me with the radar gun. O well, wat else can i do?
Anywayz...This has been another Jetta Joe production. Check back again soon!!! lol
Jetta Joe
I love you Patty |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 19th, 2004|03:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
....ok...ummm. i lost my girl last night. we're on a "break" and its my fault. i dont call her enough. im just not a phone person. i really do love her though, but i just cant show it through the phone. i was so upset last night after we went on our break. i lost her and i dont want that. i love her with all my heart an now i dont know what to do. she blames it on herself and its not her fault, its mine. i've had this problem before with the phone thing. i think she thinks i don't love her anymore, but its not that. its the whole "long-distance" thing getting in the way. i just cant wait until she gets here so i can show her how much i really do love her. after our last conversation last night while we were still going out, my friend john meets up with me and tells me that i just got fired. now i have no way to pay off my speeding ticket thats going to cost me at least $200 dollars and i havent told my parents yet and they're going to flip out on me. its not even my fault that i got fired. one of the waitresses has a "personality" issue with me and she put in a complaint against me and the boss told john to tell me not to come in anymore and that i have been fired. so, first i lose my love of my life, then i lose my job...whats next? i cant take this anymore. i just want to find a hole in a wall and crawl inside and not come out until things get better. anyways, patty comes back in 8 days and i know that i can make things better when she comes here. i love you patty, i always will no matter what happens. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 15th, 2004|10:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | loved | ] |
Everything with me and Patty is good now. I was really worried that i lost her and i would have hated myself forever if i did because i know that i will never find anyone like her ever again. I get to see my baby again in 11 days...i cant wait. I miss her smile, her beautiful face, her humor, and her company so much that i could almost cry. When i talk to her on the phone, i smile just to hear her voice. I never knew what true love is. I don't think it could get any more true than this. I love You Patty. "Forever and Always"! Joe (Babe) |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
jetta_joe's journal